


Just one touch

by deanmorellisbane



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blaine is determine, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Kurt Hummel is matured, Kurt is emotionally distant, M/M, Rachel is surprisingly a good friend, Sebastian is the greatest friend, Teen Angst, a little ooc, i need stop making up tags lol, yes samchel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:22:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22147861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanmorellisbane/pseuds/deanmorellisbane
Summary: "A second chance?" Kurt said incredulously to the angel next to him, clearly not believing him. "And why do I get one?"The angel smiled widely as he whispered to Kurt, "Because you deserves it more than anyone"----------------------------------------After an accident, Kurt Hummel was thrown back to the past, to right the wrongs of his past.But what if he kept himself from doing what is right?What if he stayed away from his true love like he believed he should?What if Kurt Hummel finally be the one who could save everyone?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/David Karofsky, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Kurt Hummel & Sebastian Smythe, Rachel Berry/Sam Evans, klaine - Relationship, minor-blainofsky, samchel - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at writing....  
> AN update 11/1/2020: Don't mind me.... i'm just rewriting my mistakes

**Bushwick, Brooklyn**

**19.45 pm**

**2 nd July 2020**

The sounds of cars honking at each other, accompanied with the yelling of drivers and pedestrian could be heard at the top of the old 20 stories apartment complex, where a 27-year-old Kurt Hummel is seen lying on the dirty floor of the old rooftop, he wasn’t the same like a few years ago as his skin has become much more paler than before and more greasier. He was so skinny; what has left of him was only flesh and bones

The cherry of his lips was gone and was now replaced with something also paler and dry. And his eyes had finally lost its blue sparkles that always shone happiness and determination. All it was now was just cold grey, full of sorrow and resentment for himself.

Lazily, he brought his hand into his faded jeans pocket and pulled out a box of cigar and a lighter. He shakily pulled the cigars out of the box and onto his chapped lips as he started to light it up. Taking in a deep drag, Kurt blew out a white puff of smoke from his dry lips as he blankly stared up to the starry warm night, once again letting resentment fill his veins

His life had actually gone downhill when he first broke up with Blaine.

Yes, after they broke up, they did become friends again, but then once again, work and studies had taken over Kurt, making his friendship with Blaine strained. The promises of constant texting and calls were just forgotten, as if they were nothing but just acquaintances

But then came Mr. Schue’s wedding.

He had planned a long speech of sorry and promises to make an effort for their friendship, and at the bottom of his heart he couldn’t help but hope that maybe they’d get together, because as hopeless as he might sound, he actually missed Blaine. He missed the way the younger boy would do his best to make others laugh. He missed the way Blaine would hold him every time he felt crappy or how he would comfort him whenever people made fun of him in the hallway

It was a promise of comfort and safety. Something Kurt never knew he needed in his life

But as he stepped into the church, what he saw next shattered his heart and world

There, sitting at the middle pew of the church, chuckling and whispering sweetly was his one true love, Blaine Anderson in the hands of his former bully; David Karofsky.

He tried to convince himself that it meant nothing, that maybe they were maybe just friends. But the sight of Dave leaning over to Blaine and laying a loving kiss to his lips was the answer. His world shattered

Rachel, who was standing right behind him asked why he was standing at the middle of the door. she only got herself pushed harshly to the side as Kurt quickly made his way out of the suddenly stifling church. He ignored the yells and calls of his friends and family as he quickly made his way to his rental car and drove his way straight to the airport and bought himself the last ticket to New York

As he reached to the loft, he cried to himself in his room, crying for his lost love, crying for his own idiocy

After the crying, he let himself fall asleep, not caring about his vibrating phone in his pocket, numbing it out

After a few hours of sleep, Kurt blinked his eyes open, realizing that he had a killer headache and he could still feel the vibrating in his front pocket. With so much reluctance, he pulled out his phone

_15 missed calls from Diva Berry_

_29 unread text from Diva Berry_

_10 missed calls from Cedes_

_5 unread text from Cedes_

_5 miscalls from Finn_

_12 missed calls from Burt_

_1 unread text from Blaine Anderson_

Kurt didn’t know what possessed him to clicked on Blaine’s text, and what he read broke his shattered heart even more

_From: Blaine Anderson_

_I’m so sorry Kurt, I hope we could still be friends_

With so much rage, he quickly stood up from his bed and threw the phone to the wall and let out a high-pitched screech, not caring about his neighbor or his headache.

It doesn’t matter anymore

Kurt Hummel has finally fallen

After that night, Kurt had decided to move on and cut everyone out from his life, he had changed his number – only giving it to Burt, knowing the older man wouldn’t give it to anybody and became the shell the man he used to be.

Rachel tried to talk to him, but he managed to ignore her until she finally gave up. Finn even flew over from Lima, in hopes to get back the old Kurt Hummel, but like Rachel, he failed.

After a few months, Kurt had managed to separate his emotions from himself as he continued to live his life. He ignored the help of Isabelle as he continued to work for Vogue, ignored his family and friends, keeping everyone he had cared at arm’s length

But then once again, tragedy struck the youngest Hummel,

Burt and Finn were shot in a robbery.

It was closing time Finn was helping Burt around the shop and as he was putting away some of the tool boxes whilst Burt counted the final sale, the front door of the shop jingled open. Finn, who was standing near the door, turned to tell the customer that they were closed, only to be greeted with a bullet right to his head.

The shot was deafening, especially to Burt as he slowly watched his step-son fall to the ground, motionless. He didn’t hear the man come close to him and point the gun to him as he demanded for the money in his hand. His mind was racing back to the moment when Elizabeth first passed and couldn’t help but feel the pain he felt at that time.

And he also didn’t hear the threat or the trigger being pulled.

Once again, the emotions Kurt had tried so hard to forget had come back rushing like a freight train, he was afraid, he was lost, he was alone.

So, he did it again.

He ran away from the pain and hurt.

He ran away from the complexity of feelings and started to hide.

Like the coward that he was

Rachel asked him to come with her for the funeral, but he blatantly rejected it, saying he had work that he needed to finish. And that caused a big argument between them; Rachel yelling at him, asking him to open up to her, talk to her, like how he used to when they were in high school.

But Kurt knew better. He knew Blaine would see him. He knew Blaine would feel sympathetic for him and he didn’t want that. He didn’t need Blaine or his sympathy. And he sure as hell doesn’t need Rachel being the annoying bitch like she was then and leave him the fuck alone.

Apparently, he had said the last part loudly – based on the hurt look on his now former best friend’s face. Rachel looked down to the hardwood floor. Silence taking over them and Kurt couldn’t help but feel more uncomfortable in his entire life

Then, Rachel spoke, as softly as she could – trying her best to cover her hurt and sadness. But hearing her cracked voice didn’t seem to help to hide the pain,

“I- I get that you’ve lost the love of your life, Kurt I do. But this- this is your family. Finn- Finn is your brother! He cares about you! And-,”

“For fuck sakes, Rachel!” Kurt yelled in an exasperated tone, clearly tired as he ran his hand through his now flat hair, not even bothering to styled his hair like he used to do. “He- he never cared for me Rachel! For all he cared was, I’m just his faggy brother!”

Rachel gasped as she brought her hands to cover her mouth

“All he cared was back in high school was how I was going to affect his status on the social ladder. You kept saying that he was a leader when clearly, he was not! Not even close! He never treated any of us like a leader was supposed to and yet you keep glorifying him as one! Get over your thick head Berry! No matter how many times you tried to plant the idea of him loving you, he doesn’t!”

Rachel’s eyes were glassy, but he didn’t care. He needed to do this,

“You and me… we’re nothing to Finn. No matter what we’ve been through with or for him, we’re just the people who were present in his life, we were just a side character in his story. I’ll just always be his faggy brother who will not be loved by anyone in this life, and you’re just the girl, he’ll always care for,” he locked his cold gaze with Rachel’s teary ones as he finished; “But never love”

And with that, Rachel quickly made her way out of the loft, leaving the door wide open as Kurt slowly leaned over to the wall behind him as he slowly slid down to the cold floor. He brought his knees closer to his chest, but he didn’t cry.

No.

He had gone past that phase of his life when he first saw Blaine and Karofsky, he doesn’t cry anymore.

**Kurt Hummel doesn’t cry anymore.**

After the fight, he quickly packed his stuff and moved out of the loft, not even leaving a note for his friend as he left without even looking back.

He decided to drop out of NYADA when he realized his love for music had died the moment he had stopped feeling. And he even quit working at Vogue when he realized that he needed real money and he really didn’t want to worry Isabelle anymore

So, since then, he would hop from one work to another. From a waiter at a dingy diner, to becoming a server to a fast food chain. He has worked a lot of jobs that he hasn’t realized it has been so many years had passed.

* * *

“You know, there’s this thing called indoors and also something called a bed?” a voice called out sarcastically, pulling Kurt out from his memory lane. He felt a light thudding on the ground; making its way toward him. But Kurt decided to ignore it as he continued to puffed out his cigar with his eyes closed

“Ah yes” the voice spoke again, “Every time you ignore me, I’ll totally leave you alone, who do you think I am, Hummel? You know me better than that”

Kurt groaned as he finally opened his eyes, revealing that cold grey orbs of his; “Just once,” Kurt spoke, his voice raspy as his gaze flicked to the taller man standing right next to him. “I just want to spend the whole fuckin’ day just for myself, is that so much to ask?” he asked harshly, but the man next to him looked unfazed as he replied,

“Yes,” he said simply as he also took a seat next to Kurt on the dirty ground and also took a drag of Kurt’s cigar, “because every time I leave you, you’d go pathetic, so I had to stay with you, so you wouldn’t jump off the bridge or shits.”

“Oh, Seb” Kurt cooed mockingly, “Your love is too blinding” he said monotonously as he quickly sat up and took the cigar back

It was weird sight to see

Sebastian Smythe and Kurt Hummel were sitting on the ground of a shitty apartment complex’s rooftop, in the dark night at the rooftop. It shouldn’t be happening. Kurt was supposed to be throwing an insult or two to the taller man whilst the other man tried to make Kurt feel more shittier than he could ever feel about himself, but somehow, after Kurt bumped into Sebastian a few years ago, they managed to form some sort of friendship – in which doesn’t end with them killing each other

Sebastian took a seat next to Kurt and just let the shorter man to lay his head on his shoulder. Even though they were always at each other’s throat, Sebastian was the only one he had. He was the one there when he had an anxiety attack when he finally accepted that his father and step brother had passed. He held him all night, whispering nothing but promises of never leaving his side.

He was the one who saved Kurt when he drank too much in bath tub and almost died drowning if Sebastian hadn’t come in time and pulled him out and gave him CPR. The taller man had spent the whole week taking care of him until he was on his full health

He was the one who listened when Kurt told him everything what had happened to him the past few years. He listened to every story he told. He listened to every regret he had said to everyone that meant everything to him.

He was the one who kept Kurt grounded when he told Kurt about Blaine’s wedding with David’s. He followed Kurt for the entire 3 months to make sure that the other man wouldn’t do anything that could harm himself. He even held the other man every night because he kept getting nightmare and always woke up crying as he called Sebastian late at night, asking for the taller man to accompany him in that dreadful and lonely apartment.

And Kurt couldn’t ask for anybody more.

“You should get out for once Kurt” Sebastian whispered as he took in a drag from the cigar Kurt just passed to him. Knowing Kurt, he’d be rolling his eyes once again at him.

“Don’t give me that look, Hummel” he snipped as he pulled back a little, making Kurt to lazily laid on his chest as he wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s torso

“I won’t stop until you agree to go out and have fun for once Kurt. It has been like almost 8 years already, when are you going to stop pining over Anderson?” he asked exasperatedly, but his hand still run through Kurt’s hair, ignoring the grease of the latter’s hair

Kurt kept quiet as he closed his eyes and ignored his friend’s word

“it’s unhealthy Kurt. Do you think Burt would accept this type of behavior from you?”

That did the trick. Kurt quickly pulled away from Sebastian and stood up on his feet, ignoring the buzzing in his head from standing up too fast. He turned to Sebastian with coldness in his grey eyes in the dark warm night that could be seen by the lights from billboards across the streets, but Sebastian seemed unfazed as he had been at the end of that look a thousand times now.

“You don’t think I know that?” Kurt asked, his voice raspier than before, “I hate myself for still loving him Seb!” he yelled with unshed tears in his cold grey orbs, “You don’t think I loathe myself every night for thinking of him? I wish I could punch myself every time the thought of ‘what if’ came through my mind. But deep down, I don’t. I want to go back time, Sebastian” he whispered as the other man gave him a pained look

“I want to go back where Blaine is still my boyfriend and my best friend. I want to go back to where every morning my dad would come into my room and asked for my help to make breakfast he doesn’t even know how to pronounce. The time where Finn would annoy and amuse me at the same time, the moment when I would have sleep over with Rachel and Mercedes and sometimes argue with Rachel for owning such tacky sweater. I want to be the old me again, I want the old Kurt Hummel, who had dreams and hope, who actually believed in happy endings and chances… I want that back.”

Kurt looked down to his worn-out sneakers as he whispered,

“But there’s no point anymore… I’ve lost my dad and my only brother… I’ve lost my friends that actually cared for me and Blaine…” Kurt laughed painfully as he said that name, “you don’t know how painful it is for me to finally grasped the idea of him finally happy without me, he managed to live as happily he can be… and that is without me.. and I hate that”

“I hate that he’s happy, I hate the fact Dave is the person who made him happy. And I hate the fact… that I have to accept that… I’ll never be his happiness again.”

And that is when Kurt has finally realised it.

“Kurt-,”

Kurt quickly turned around and quickly made his way to the ladder that would lead him to the fire escape. Suddenly he felt scared, scared of how true his words were, how he had actually accepted that he was not meant for Blaine Devon Anderson anymore.

“No! Kurt, Wait!” Sebastian yelled, but Kurt ignored it. He was so scared and since it was a little dark for his vision, he didn’t notice the pipeline near the ledge as he tripped on it, making the poor man stumble over the old and mouldy edge. He tried to reached for the rusty ladder, but failed as he fell from the 20 stories building

And that’s when everything started to flash through his mind,

Him yelling at Rachel about how Finn will never love her like how she wanted,

Him pushing everyone – especially his father – away from him,

Him seeing Blaine and Dave kiss at the church,

Him hugging Finn for the last time,

Him walking away from Blaine in tears,

Him hugging Rachel after she realised, he’s in New York with her,

Him in the car with his father, before leaving for New York,

Him and the New Direction winning Nationals,

Him and Mercedes having sleep overs where they would discuss about how ugly Rachel’s sweater again,

Him walking down the Dalton staircase, before calling out to the man who will forever mean everything to him,

It happened too fast, and the next thing Kurt knew, he is on his back, with blood seeping out from the back of his head. Sebastian was yelling something over to him as he quickly made his way down to Kurt.

Kurt just laid there, waiting for the said ‘light’ people kept telling him when one is dying, but all he saw was the starry night as he let death take over him.

“Wow, aren’t you a dramatic little guy” a familiar voice said. Kurt tried to look who was it, but the pain in his neck prevented him from even move his head a little, so he just laid there, feeling helpless as ever.

“Now, now there” the voice said as he felt someone is sitting near his head, “no need to be so pathetic, I’m here to help you.”

Kurt wrecked his brain trying to remember who is this man was. He sounded like Blaine, but there’s no way he’d be here… right?

“Sadly, that’s true. Blaine is busy making babies with Dave-,”

Kurt closes his eyes as he tries his best to ignore the other man, trying his best to numb anymore pain.

“Oh sorry” the man spoke, his voice sounded sheepish. “Anyways, I’m here to help you Kurt!” the voice chirped excitedly, making Kurt to loathe it.

Ignoring the loathing radiating from Kurt’s injured form, the other man continued, “I’m going to give you another chance Kurt, so all you need to do is just relax okay?”

The injured man opened his mouth to ask what he was talking about, but it was cut short when the man closed his eyes with his hand and felt his whole body started to feel warm and light, he wanted to fight it, but he was too tired to even try anything.

“It’s okay,” the voice whispered, “Just let it go”

* * *

**Dalton Academy, Westerville**

**11.45 a.m.**

**9 th November 2010**

“Excuse me?” a voice called out, stirring Kurt a little in his trance. There was a familiar murmur greeted around him as he stood still to where he was standing, which was on the fourth step of Dalton’s step.

Kurt blinked his eyes as he took in his surrounding, his brows knitted together as he looked around him with so much confusion; _‘How did I get here-?’_

His musing was cut short when he felt a tug on his hand, once again frowning, Kurt turned to person who wouldn’t stop getting out from his grasp. And that is when it happened

**When glasz meets hazel.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: sorry for the late update guys.... a lot has been going on and I'm stressing out over everything lol  
> ignore the error and mistakes, cause I'm just gonna ignore it if you point it out... LOL  
> Happy reading!

**Dalton Academy, Westerville**

**11.55 a.m.**

**9 th November 2010**

_This couldn’t be happening._

_This had to be game._

_A sick cruel game that the universe thought would be great to play on him._

He closed his eyes tightly. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he’d open his eyes, and see the tacky color of the hospital room back in New York, with Sebastian hovering over him, reprimanding him for being so reckless and once again promise to take care of him until he was better.

But as he once again opened his eyes, he was greeted with the sight of the familiar dapper boy, giving him the charming smile he had missed the most.

“Kurt?” the boy called out, “Are you okay?”

No, he was not okay. One minute he was yelling at Sebastian to get off his back – which caused him to fall off the ledge of his moldy apartment complex – and the next, there he was, standing on Dalton staircase with **Blaine Anderson** holding out his hand with a concerned look on his beautiful feature

“Kurt?” he called once again.

And that was when it hit him.

The emotions started to flood through his veins, attacking him with multiple of emotions he has spent years of suppressing. His heart was beating fast, and he was pretty sure everyone in the whole academy could hear it. His mind was flashing a thousand thoughts, and each one of them was not as nice as his usual thoughts.

_This is all a dream._

_This not real._

_You’re just dreaming that dream again, where you only get to touch him, but never held him for your entire life._

_You are going to wake up alone on a bed, with no one by your side._

Kurt could feel his anxiety kicking in as he let his thoughts took over him. His breath started to hitched in his throat, but surprisingly, he could still hide it from the observing gaze of Blaine. He looked down to his shiny shoes and unintentionally tightened the grip he had on Blaine’s hand, when he started to feel a little woozy and short of breath; earning a scowl from the dapper boy.

“Hey,” Blaine called out as he took a step up so he could stand closer to Kurt, “Are you okay? Do you need me to get you to do the nurse’s office?” he asked with his brown orbs shining with concern for the new boy he just met.

But when Kurt looked up to lock his gaze with Blaine, he froze. His voice was gone and all air left his body. He had met many types of people in his young life, but never with that kind of sadness before. Kurt’s eyes looked like they were the mixture of sadness and resilience; as if he was trying to tell everybody that he had already been through too much shit that he wouldn’t feel it anymore. And that just made Blaine want to pull Kurt into his arms and promise him that he will forever protect him and never let him feel pain anymore.

Their stare off was cut short when Blaine’s phone started to ring.

He reluctantly reached for his phone, not looking away from Kurt’s cold grey eyes as he answered. “Hello?”

Kurt stared at Blaine for a minute before he started to realize that he shouldn’t be here. He felt sick as he looked over his and Blaine’s tangled hands. How he had no right to hold this hand anymore; or even touch any part of him. Reluctantly, he pulled back, earning a look from Blaine but he quickly looked away, willing himself not to cry before he quickly took off. Not turning back when his name was called from Blaine as he quickly run up the stairs.

Blaine was about to follow the other boy, but was stopped when someone called his name. As he reluctantly turned around, he was greeted with a friend and also a fellow warbler, walking towards him with so much arrogance and confidence, that made Blaine questioned their friendship sometimes.

“Sebastian” he replied with a half-hearted smile. He looked back to the stairs and saw that Kurt was long gone and he couldn’t help but groan loudly.

“I know I annoy you sometimes, Anderson, but that’s no way to show your discomfort,” Sebastian said teasingly as he followed Blaine’s gaze, and nodded to where Blaine was staring, “Who was that?”

Blaine turned to Sebastian with a faint blush creeping on his cheeks that didn’t go unnoticed to the other boy as he let out a wide smirk.

“Aww, someone got a crush-!”

“Please, let’s just go” Blaine said before quickly turning around, and making his way to the common room with Sebastian hot at his heel, smirking.

* * *

After literally running out of the academy, Kurt made way into his car and slammed the door close. His heart beat loudly against his ribs as he lay his forehead against the steering wheel, his hand lax on his lap as he tried his best to still his frantically beating heart.

_This should not be happening._

He should be either dead or in a hospital bed with Sebastian fussing over him.

Not thrown back time to when he was still a child!

He slowly brought his hand to his cheeks and pinched it hard. Feeling the pain, Kurt quickly pulled his hand away and looked at himself at the side mirror. He didn’t look sickly pale like he used to anymore as he looked flushed after the running he just did. His lips were not chapped anymore, as it was replaced with its cherry color once again. His baby fat could be seen on his cheeks, replacing the skinny cheeks he had back in New York. But weirdly, his eyes were the same shade of grey as before, there’s not even a hint of blue in it.

What was happening to him?

“Second chance,”

A voice said, making Kurt to jump in his seat. He quickly turned to his side and felt his lips go dry and all air left his body all over again. Sitting next to him was Blaine – or someone who looked like Blaine – wearing a black short-sleeved shirt and black loose jeans. His curls were set free and wild, falling across his forehead; framing his beautiful hazel eyes.

_What the fuck?_

Squeaking, Kurt called out. “Bl-Blaine?”

‘Blaine’ looked at him with a warm smile as he tilted his head to the side. “Nope,” he replied as he turned to Kurt and lean over to the door, “I’m Darren! Your angel in shining armor!”

Kurt stared at the self-proclaimed angel at first before he looked away and closes his eyes and took in a deep breath. He tilted his head back and exhales loudly and opened his eyes, “I know I don’t believe in you,” he spoke, making Darren look at him with a confused look. “But the least you could do to me is kill me rather than send a hippy calling himself an angel.”

Darren frowned at that as he crossed his arms, “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, upset.

Kurt snapped his head towards Darren once more, and couldn’t help himself from making a scowl. He took in a deep breath. “Okay look, you’re not an ‘angel’” he said with an air quote, “Far from it, aren’t angels supposed to be wearing all white and have, like a golden halo – floating, on top of their heads or something? And where’s your harp?” he asked as he tilted his head side to side to find the harp that self-proclaimed angel might hide, “I don’t see any.”

Darren groaned as he let his head hit the glass behind him, “Okay first of all, don’t stereotype me or any other angels like that. It’s rude and untrue,” he said with a scowl by just the mere thought of it. “Second, I’m allowed to wear any kind of color I want, no matter what the other angels say. So, what it’s the color code? I looked better in black anyway,” he pouted as Kurt arched his brow at the angel

“So, you’re a disobedient angel? Like the Devil?” he asked curiously – in which earned an offended look from the other man.

“How dare you! I am not like-,”

“Okay, you know what?” Kurt cut him off with his hand raised, shutting the angel up. “I don’t care anymore. Just get out of my car so I can find the nearest tree or pole to hit so I can actually die for real.”

Darren frowned unapprovingly. “I did not revive you so you can kill yourself!” he reprimands, a little mad with the younger man. “I did it so I could give you a second chance!”

“A second chance?” Kurt said incredulously to the angel next to him, clearly not believing him. “And why do I get one?”

The angel smiled widely. He moved forward, making his face near with Kurt’s and whispered softly making Kurt shiver slightly, “Because you deserve it more than anyone.”

Once again, Kurt stared Darren blankly before letting out a breath of disbelief. Not noticing the scowl, the other man gave him. “You wanna know what I actually deserve?” he asked as he turned to Darren with his grey eyes burning with annoyance,

“Death. That’s what I deserve. I deserve that slow soul sucking they kept telling me about, I want to finally to go to heaven and be together with my dad and mom and; hell! Maybe Finn too! cause that’s what I deserve. What’s the use of living if I don’t have anyone in my life?!”

Darren’s beautiful hazel gaze locked with Kurt’s cold grey ones as he calmly lean back to the door behind him. “And why do you think all of that happened?” he asked calmly, making Kurt glare at him with rage in his cold eyes.

“I’m sorry, but are you trying to tell me that it’s my fault that I don’t have anyone else?” he asked angrily, as he tightened the grip he had on the steering wheel. “I had Sebastian! And you took him away from me!” he all but yelled as he heavily panted, trying his best to calm the fire in him.

“And now you have the opportunity to have him back along with your other friends” the angel said with a smile on his lips, making the fire in Kurt burn even brighter. “It’s going to be alright, Kurt-,”

“It’s not!” he yelled, as tears started to well in his eyes, but still wouldn’t fall over “I- I don’t want anyone else! I want my best friend back! Give me back Sebastian!”

Kurt could feel the angel’s judging looks on his as he looked away. He laid his forehead on the steering wheel as Darren started to spoke. “What are you so afraid of?” the angel asked. “I’ve given you the second chance to make things right again. Why are you so stubborn to go with it? A lot of people are dying for this opportunity, and yet, here you are, trying to let it slip past you.”

Kurt just stayed where he was, not saying a word as the angel looked at him worriedly. “Kurt?”

“I don’t deserve any of it,” the younger man whispered softly as his knuckles started to turn white from the tight grip he had on the steering wheel, “I messed up before with everyone I’ve ever cared about and the only one I had at that time – keeping me safe – was Sebastian. He was my safety net, my anchor. I need him in my life so I don’t go float around, lost.”

Kurt finally brought his head up, away from the steering wheel and turned to Darren with his eyes shining with tiredness and something that had never appeared in Kurt’s eyes for a very long time now; hope.

“Just send me back,” he all but pleaded to the angel. “Or just send me to heaven or whatever. I just don’t want to do this”

Silence took over the mortal and the angel as they had a stare off with each other. Then Darren looked away as he huffed out an annoyed sigh. Taking that as a good sign, Kurt turned to fully face the angel with hope shining in his grey eyes,

“No” the hope was quickly gone with a blink of an eye and replacing it with anger and rage. “I have asked for this for a long time now and I am not going to let it go to waste,” Darren said with determination in his voice, fueling Kurt’s anger more

Kurt rubbed his eyes tiredly before snapping, “But I don’t want this-!” as he brought his hand down, the angel is gone, no sound nor trace left of him and that just made Kurt even angrier as he looked up and yelled; “Jackass!”

* * *

Kurt slammed the driver’s door closed before he quickly made his way to the steps that would lead him into the halls of McKinley High. He didn’t know what possessed him to drive here. All he wanted was some peace to think clearly. And somehow, he ended up here, walking down the halls, looking agitated as ever, grasping into his bag strap tightly and looking down to the floor intently.

When he reached to his locker, he put in his locker combo and slammed it open, causing the metal door to hit the other locker next to it, making everyone to look at him weirdly. He took off his bag and forcefully pushed it into his locker. After a few minutes of struggling, he managed to put it in. He looked up to see the empty spot, where he was supposed to put a picture of Blaine and that just caused his agitation to rise like a lava

_Why can’t that idiot angel understand?_

He didn’t want this. He wanted to go back to his crappy and moldy apartment and bitch about life with Sebastian by his side. He didn’t want to undo anything. He had been through this hell before. Why did he have to go through it again?

He felt like he wanted to yell and punch the living hell out of something… or maybe someone who was unfortunate enough to look at him wrong.

And then, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around. His hand in a fist, ready to punch the life out of the idiot who couldn’t take a hint, but as he faced the person, all words flew out of his mind. His lips went dry as all air left his lungs. His hand went loose.

Right there, standing before him.

Was his idiot.

Finn Hudson, still breathing and alive.

“Uh hey!” he greeted in his awkward manner, “You look angry. Did something happened when you were spying for the Dabblers?” the quarterback asked worriedly.

Kurt just stared at the tall man in front of him for a minute before wrapping his arms around Finn stilled body. He took in the familiar scent of Finn as he mumbled lowly, “You’re here, Jesus fuck, you’re really here”

Finn looked down to Kurt with a weird look before noticing the glances and whisper the others gave him. “Uh, Kurt? People are staring. Please stop.”

Kurt ignored him as he continued to hug Finn even tighter than ever before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: OMG, I am so sorry for the late update guys, I am not abandoning this story. I have been busy with school and my Beta was also busy, so i had to find a new Beta... so here ya go... 
> 
> to make up for y'all, I'm gonna do a double update today and sorry for the short chapter... so enjoy
> 
> And a little warning; there's some disturbing truth about the disney's princess story... you can skip it if you want

****Chapter 3** **

Sweat and a stinky shirt

The smell Kurt never thought he’d smell in his life again, but here he is. Standing by his open locker with Finn Hudson; ****His brother****. Wrapped in his arms, squirming uncomfortably as he looked at the passersby nervously, but Kurt just held the taller man closer and tighter.

“Kurt?” The quarterback called out. Kurt could make out the nervousness in his voice but still, he didn’t even let go. He didn’t want to. “Come on man, people are gonna talk about this, and you’re making me uncomfortable.”

There were so many answers he could give Finn at the moment, but he didn’t care. Finn was alive and breathing. And that meant just one thing.

“Where’s my dad?” He asked as he pulled back from Finn, his heart beating so fast he could feel it thumping in his ears. He looked at Finn with a face that was asking for hope and begging for mercy. Hope that his father is still well and alive too and also begging that this wasn’t even near to a dream.

Finn frowned at the sudden question as he finally pulled away from the shorter man’s tight grip. He looked around first and let out a sigh that he didn’t know he held when he saw no jocks walking around, but he did notice the basketball team at the end of the hallway, but knowing them, they wouldn’t say or do anything to them.

Especially to him.

“Well, seeing that it’s only almost 3, he might still be at the shop, grunting at someone’s car because they don’t know how to change their own muffler.” Finn shrugged as he brought the strap of his bag higher on his shoulder and Kurt couldn’t help but felt that twinge of warmness in his chest.

He’s still alive. Burt Hummel; his father is still alive.

He felt like crying.

“Dude,” the taller boy called out, his face contorted with worry but he still didn’t make any move to comfort the smaller one. “Did something happened when you went to that gay school? Did they did something to you? Do you want me and the guys beat some sense into them?”

The serious tone in the quarterback’s voice wanted to make Kurt laugh. It amazed him how the taller man still had problems with accepting him being gay, but was still the guy that would do anything for him if anyone ever said anything to him.

Kurt shook his head. “No, I just feel overwhelmed is all,” he said as Finn nodded his head and looked down to his feet, awkwardly shuffling on the tiled floor, earning a rolled eyes from the glasz-eyed boy. “I think I’m going home for the day,” he informed the taller man, making him snap his head up and give Kurt a confused look.

“Aren’t you coming to Glee today?”

Kurt was tempted.

Of course he wanted to go back to the place that always made him happy. The place where he was always accepted for who he is and always treated as an equal. Well, sometimes.

Kurt wanted so much to get into that room and sing his heart out, express his feelings by singing his favorite song, annoying Rachel with the note he knows she can’t reach, giggling with Mercedes about Rachel’s outfit, listening in on the boys' conversation so he could gossip later on with the girls. But his most favorite was sitting on Brad’s piano, annoying the older man, as he know too well how agitated Brad could be when someone sat on his piano.

But he couldn’t help the thought of Rachel’s sad eye haunting his mind. His guilt started to build inside him, making him to feel nauseous. He didn’t want to walk into that room with Rachel’s observant eyes looking at him. He knows that look so well. That was the look he always received before they were even _Rachel and Kurt._ That was the look of annoyance and also what he knows as longing.

He remembered that one night when they decided to drink their asses off, Rachel decided to spill her guts out. And he didn’t meant literally. She told him about how much she wanted to be friends with him when there were only just six of them. She wanted to go to him and ask if he wanted to hang out at her house and discuss Broadway related issues, but she was aware of the annoyance and hatred she received from literally everyone.

Especially from him.

So instead of being friends, she settled on being rivals with him- to which she admits was much easier.

How could he walk in that room with guilt weighing him like bricks and with special addition; Rachel’s cold gaze on him.

“No,” Kurt answered after what felt like hours to him as he turned to his still opened locker and roughly pulled out his messenger bag. “I just really want to go back home now,” he said and he couldn’t help but hate how he sounded like he was asking for permission and from Finn out of all people.

But like always, Finn just saw through him as he gave Kurt a smile before clapping on the shorter man’s shoulder and left him alone in the hallway.

Kurt sighed as he closed his locker door.

_This is going to be a long day_

* * *

Kurt tapped his finger on the steering wheel, looking repeatedly from the road and back to the clock on his dashboard. Feeling slightly agitated as he drove down the road that would lead him to the park that he and his mother used to come.

He set his car on park before slumping back in his seat, letting out a big sigh.

“Darren,” he called out. But no one showed up after a few second, so he tried once again. “Dare-,”

“Yeah?”

Kurt jumped in his seat when suddenly Darren showed up in the seat next to him, still wearing his all-black attire and the usual dopey smile on his lips. This angel still eerily reminded him of Blaine; if the other curly haired boy decided to do crack.

“Fucking angel.”

Darren looked at Kurt with so much amusement as he leant back on the car door behind him, “I don’t think you called me so you can cuss at me,” he said with that annoying smile still on his lips.

Kurt also turned to Darren, leaning back against the door behind him. “Prove it to me.”

“What?”

“This,” he motioned around him, “Prove it to me that I won’t wake up to know that this is a dream, prove it to me that this is reality so I can stop doubting everyone and everything around me. Prove it!” Kurt demanded as he folded his arm across his chest, with a serious expression on his face.

“Kurt...” the angel called out, he could hear the tiredness in the latter’s voice as he sighed. “This is not a dream. It wasn’t easy for me to do this, I literally had to pull some strings to make this ‘reversal’ to happen and it worked. You’re back to your young and healthy self. You can right the wrongs, you have the knowledge, use it!”

Kurt stared at the angel blankly before turning away and turning on his car, earning a confused look from Darren. “Uh Kurt?” he called out as Kurt started to drive off the park and onto the road. “Where are we going?”

Kurt kept quiet for a few second before replying. “We’re going to find some drink to get drunk on. And when I said ‘we’ I meant me and when I said ‘drink’ I meant preferably maybe a bottle of tequila and whiskey in my dad’s liquor cabinet and also maybe smoke a cigar if I’m lucky.”

Darren looked at the other man with so much horror in his feature. “Wha-? No! You are not supposed to get drunk or smoke! You are supposed to go back to Dalton and fall in love with Blaine all over again and also help everyone around you so everyone can live happily ever after and all that shit!” Darren said in one breath with so much exasperation, but Kurt’s expression hadn’t changed a little.

“That’s just bullshit,” Kurt replied as he kept his eyes on the road, stopping at the red light. He lightly tapped his finger on the steering wheel. “We both know ‘happily ever after’ never exists. It's all just a front Disney put up for kids, making them believe it until they’re old enough to realize how bullshit everything is.”

Silence took over them as Kurt continued to drive back to his house. He starting to feel a little agitated by the silence, so he kept glancing over to the angel next to him, who was still surprisingly silent.

“Darren-?”

“I believe in it,” Darren suddenly spoke as Kurt gave him a questioning look. Then the curly haired man continued. “I actually believe in happy endings and I also still believe in Disney” he said with a proud tone, making Kurt keep himself from rolling his eyes too hard.

“You believe in fairy godmothers, genies and dwarfs?” the coiffed haired man asked, incredulous.

“No, I believe in finding happiness! Like Snow white-,”

“The prince literally wanted to keep her dead body.”

“And Princess Aurora-,”

“Didn’t she get raped by the prince that came to save her?”

“Cinderella-”

“Oh, don’t get me started on the stepsisters cutting their foots off to fit into some dumb shoes.”

“Okay fine! Princess Jasmine!”

Kurt turned to the angel as he gave the latter a slight disgusted look. “Please, I wouldn’t touch Aladdin within a 10ft pole. I’m more with Ja’far on that one.”

This time it was Darren’s turn to give the coiffed haired man a slightly disgusted look. “What the fuck- they literally had one of the greatest love stories- no!” he quickly cuts himself off as he brought his hand up to silence no one, which confused Kurt even more.

“My point is that I believe in happy endings and I also believe that everybody is deserving of one, no matter how fucked up they are. And you, Kurt Hummel, are actually privileged to get this chance when others are dying to get it.”

Kurt didn’t say anything in reply and Darren took it as a sign to continue. “And you even have all the knowledge and experience from before, you can help all of your friends find their happiness too. Find your own happiness and help them.”

Kurt turned into a corner as he spoke bitterly. “And that’s why booze and cigars are required in this one.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter... enjoy  
> sorry if it's too short

****Chapter Four** **

_“Life-life is just full-full of crap!” Kurt slurred as Sebastian laid him on his crappy bed in an old beat up apartment. Sebastian couldn’t help but scowl at the sight of what he could make out as a mold on the wall. He has got to get Kurt out of this hell hole._

_“Sebby!” The drunken man yelled, making Sebastian turn his attention to his drunken best friend who won’t stop making a grabby hand to him. Letting out a sigh, Sebastian laid next to him and pulled the shorter man on top of him. The drunken man snuggled into his neck._

_“I- I always thought that- that I deserve happiness, ya know?” Kurt slurred as he looked up to his only best friend; his gaze held every misery ever told. “But here I- I am. In a cra-crappy apartment and- and the be-bed isn’t even cl- close to comfortable!”_

_Kurt frowned before his eyes shined in realization, “H-hey! Comfort table! Do you think I need it in this crappy apartment?” He asked drunkenly to Sebastian as the other man raised his brow at the drunken man._

_“And here I thought I was your comfort,” he teased with a smirk, making Kurt laugh loudly, and pulling Sebastian onto the bed and snuggling closer to him, he stared at the moldy wall next to the bed blankly._

_Sebastian looked down to his best friend and saw it._

_Longing._

_Regret._

_Fear._

_“Kurt-,”_

_“It’s all my fault wasn’t it?” Kurt cut Sebastian off, making the taller man pull Kurt tighter to his side. “It was my fault that I’m living in this hell hole, it's my fault that I quit NYADA and my dream of being on Broadway, it’s my fault that Rachel is not in my life anymore. It’s my fault my dad and brother are dead. It’s my fault that I lost Blai-,” he quickly shut his mouth, couldn’t bring himself to even finish that sentence. He doesn’t want to admit to that._

_“Kurt-”_

_“Hold me,” he gasped trying to choke back tears. His hold on Sebastian’s shirt tightened as he buried his face into his shirt, sobbing silently. “Just hold me until the pain go away… or just, please… make it go away.”_

_Sebastian just kept silent as he stroked Kurt’s hair lovingly, whispering sweet nothings into the drunken man ear’s, leaving him to whimper a little before finally letting sleep take over him._

* * *

Kurt quickly made his way through the hallway of McKinley High. He ignored the gawking look thrown to him, knowing full well why they were staring him. For the first time in his life Kurt Hummel appeared sloppy at school. Well.. not that sloppy.

But his hair was messy, unlike his always perfect and coiffed hair. He’s only wearing a blue checkered flannel and loose jeans and black converse. His face looks sullen with those black circle under his eyes. His skin was pale and sick and his stance looks much sluggish than ever.

After he had arrived home that day, he spotted Carole’s car in the driveway and all the guilt of leaving her alone after her son’s death started to haunt him. Afraid that he’d break down into tears in front of Carole, he decided to sit in his car for a while and without realizing, he had fallen asleep.

And that’s when he had that dream. Or nightmare, to be exact.

The dream about getting drunk and Sebastian bringing him back to his crappy and moldy apartment. He dream about blaming himself for the misfortune that had fallen upon himself. The dream about Sebastian’s calm presence comforting him into another dreamless night that would always leave him whimpering.

And what the fuck is a comfort table?

He woke up when Finn knocked on his window loudly, asking him why is he sleeping in the driveway. Kurt didn’t answer as he quickly made his way out of his car and locked himself in his room. Carole and Burt had tried to called him out for dinner but all they heard was the muffled sound of Moulin Rouge playing loudly.

Kurt spent his entire night watching Moulin Rouge repeatedly that he is sure that if you give him any minute of the movie, he’d gladly tell you the line and the scene one by one.

Kurt grunted when he reached to his locker. His head was killing him, demanding a coffee. He had skipped breakfast this morning and hadn’t drunk anything as he just passed the kitchen this morning, ignoring the calling from his dad and Carole.

He turned his locker combination and started to stuffed his bag into his locker.

Then, out of nowhere a big and burly hand pushed him into the locker.

“Jesus fuck-!”

“Good morning, Homo,” Karofsky greeted with a malice smile on his lips before turning around and walking away from the fallen boy on the ground. Kurt’s head throbbed loudly against his temple and he could feel the bruise forming on his left shoulder. He hissed a little when he tried to stand up. Taking a deep breath and exhaling through his nose, Kurt tried his best to level with his pain.

“Oh my god!” A high pitched voice rang out through the hallway. Kurt looked up and saw Rachel in her god-awful animal sweater, with books in her right and coffee in her left. She quickly made her way to him and crouched next to him, setting her things down next to them.

She hovered her hand on his shoulder, not knowing if she should touch him or if he wants her to touch him. She looked pained. “Did Karofsky did this to you again?” She asked worriedly as she looked at him in the eyes.

He was about to answer, but hissed painfully when Rachel accidentally brushed his bruised shoulder, her eyes widening in surprise. “Oh my god, I am so sorry. Do you want me to get you some ice? Or I can help you walk to the nurse’s office?” She offered as she bit her lips and cast her gaze down, readying herself to be rejected.

Kurt smiled at that, though it seemed like a painful one. “No, it’s okay.” He said, but when he saw the dejected look on Rachel’s face he quickly added, “But if you want we can walk to class together. We have calculus together next, right?”

She looked at him surprised, but it was quickly replaced with a smile he missed the most. “Of course!” she said, she turned to pick up her coffee and books and when she noticed the look he gave her drink, she spoke. “Do you want it?”

Kurt blushed when he was caught. He quickly looked away. “I-I’m-”

“Here.” she said as she pushed the coffee into his hand, “You look like you needed it more than me” she said with a small smile, in which Kurt replied with a small smile of his own.

Rachel slowly pulled him up to his feet as he tried his best not to show his pain. He pulled back a little and gave her a genuine smile. “Thanks Rach, I appreciate it.”

She gave him a big smile before unconsciously gripped his bruised shoulder.

“Motherfuck-!”

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!”

* * *

“Don’t you look like crap?”

Blaine glared at his friend before sluggishly making his way to the common room for their Warbler meeting. He looked tired and the top of his shirt was unbuttoned, his tie crooked. His hair was set free for the first time in forever; Blaine just ignored the shocked and gawking look the other gave him.

He hadn’t been getting enough sleep the past few days.

He kept dreaming of a boy with a beautiful voice and glasz eyes that made him feel butterflies. His eyes were gleaming in happiness as Blaine held him, laughing and talking about their dreams and passions.

It was perfect. Until it wasn’t.

One time they were laughing and his eyes were warm and full of light. But the next, they were crying, the eyes… they were changing, cold.

He wanted to do everything that he could to change the colour back to blue happiness, but they didn’t change a bit from the grey coldness and Blaine hated it with every fiber in him for knowing he was the cause for that coldness.

And he didn’t even know who the hell the boy was.

So he did what he thought was best. He didn’t let himself sleep. It had been a been a week and he was still afraid to fall asleep and face the unknown boy he had broken.

“Okay, sure ignore me, like that ever stopped me before.” Sebastian’s voice rang next to him again, and Blaine couldn’t help but grunt in answer, not having the strength to amuse Sebastian today.

They made their way into the common room. Everyone looked a little nervous as they talked to each other loudly. Blaine quickly made his way to the couch and flopped down next to Nick and laid his head on the arm rest, ignoring the look from the pale boy next to him.

Then Wes started to hit his gavel- “Order, shut up, please be silent!” He ordered as everyone started to keep quiet and Sebastian let out a cough that sounded like ‘power crazed’, which earned a stifled smile from the others and a glare from the Asian as the taller warbler smiled innocently.

“Anyways,” the Asian spoke, ignoring Sebastian. “We have a problem with the song selection and we haven’t even started our training. With Sectionals right around the corner, we need a plan, a strategy, a-,”

“Okay, I think they got it,” Sebastian said, receiving a glare once again from the captain but he ignored him. “We would start rehearsal if that main singer isn’t so damn tired all the time,” he said knowingly as he turned to the boy sitting next to Nick.

Knowing full well who he was talking about, everyone turned to Blaine and shared a look when they saw him snoring softly onto the arm rest. Nick slowly brought his finger to Blaine’s side and poked his rib, surprising the sleeping boy from his slumber.

“Yes! We should definitely do that!” He yelped, causing some of them to jump in surprise, whilst the others to laugh at Blaine’s jumpiness. “What?” he asked groggily as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. “What happened?”

Wes glared at Blaine. “We were discussing about the songs selection, any ideas?”

Blaine blinked blankly before replying. “Uh… we could sing that song… uh.. That Katy Perry song… uh..”

“Teenage Dream?” Nick said helpfully as Blaine snapped his finger at that.

“Yes, that.”

Wes sighed exasperatedly as he rubbed his forehead and Sebastian laughed silently at his friend’s sleepy antics. “No, we all agreed to not use any Katy Perry songs until Nationals,” he reminded in a stern voice as realization dawn over Blaine’s features.

“Oh.”

“Blaine!” Thad called out, pulling the sleepy boy attention to him. “How long has it been since you slept?” he asked worriedly. Being the mother hen of the group, he couldn’t help but worry for the lead singer.

Blaine frowned as he tried to remember, then he turned to Nick, “What day is it?”

“Tuesday.”

“Yeah… it’s been a week,” he said nonchalantly as Wes let his head fall onto the wooden table. Thad looked surprised and worried. The others started to break into a worried murmur as Blaine just continued to blink blankly in front of him.

“What?” Thad called out worriedly, “Why did you come to the meeting? You should go rest! You are tired, you should not tire yourself like this Blaine Devon Warbler!”

“That’s not even my last name-,”

“We know you’re busy, but that doesn’t mean you should do this to yourself! It's unhealthy and-”

Blaine started to tune out the voices around him, something he had mastered during the week. He laid his head back on the arm rest and let his mind run free.

After his first nightmare, he had tried to search for the boy, Kurt, in the school but he couldn’t find him, proving that maybe the boy never went there in the first place. He felt frustrated and tired.

“And so it's settled then,” Wes said as he hit his gavel. “Sebastian and Blaine will go to our rival’s school and spy on them.” He sounded so proud when he said that. It meant one thing, he could finally go back to his room and-

Wait. What?

Blaine quickly sat up straight and looked Wes, confused. He blinked his eyes repeatedly before asking - “I’m sorry, but Blaine what?”


End file.
